Yes. I did that. I totally just put a Shinedown lyric as the title of my blog. You shouldn't be surprised. I would get a tattoo of Shinedown if I could...oh, wait...I am. Anyway, that's not what this blog is about. :)
If you cannot tell by my random first paragraph, I'm in a very, very good mood. My reason? Well, I have amazing people in my life. I'm not saying that to be like: "I'm going through SUCH a hard time and these people are SO wonderful while I'm hurting but they're going to leave me high and dry when the drama stops..." No, that's not what's happening. I have amazing friends. I have an amazing family. I mean, my parents have opened up their home for me and the girls and are providing for us so I can save as much money as possible. To top it off, they're making sure the girls and I have everything we NEED or want (unlike SOMEONE I know...). That's another blog. Ha. Anyway, they've been amazing. My sister and brother in law have been SO awesome helping me get back into school, save money on books, and help watch the girls or go with me to make sure that I can still do my photography on the side.
My friends, I can't even begin to describe them. I've finally gotten to talk to TWO really old friends who I haven't gotten to talk to in a really long time. I have the friends I've hung out with and known daily since high school as well. My poor phone and facebook have been blowing up from messages and texts. Everyone who texts me too, all day every day...you guys make me smile more than I have in a VERY long time.
I know that my girls and I are going to be okay. We have everything we need. Everything we could ever need. If we fall, we have people to catch us or help us back up and that is amazing. That makes me not worry that maybe a handful of people don't like me; maybe the guy I gave my heart to left me high and dry after ripping it to pieces. Yeah, it sucks and it hurts, but you know what? I have more than most people have. I have an overflow of LOVE from everyone and I am so grateful for that. To know that no matter what you do, you have SO many people there for you. You have so many people cheering for you and rooting for you.
I have to say on April 29, 2011, my self esteem was lower than low. Since getting away from a situation and realizing all I have, I've NEVER been more confident in my LIFE. I mean, what in the WORLD do I have to lose? Everyone who loves me will always love me. My girls will always love me. I have nothing to be ashamed of and no reason in the world to dislike any part of me. I'm a good person. It doesn't matter if someone thinks I'm gorgeous or butt ugly to me anymore because I just want to be seen as a GOOD person and a GREAT mom. That's all I aspire to in life. Yeah, I want to go to school for Nursing and eventually be a PA...I want to own my own house and car and maybe find a REAL Knight in Shining armor...not that loser in tin foil...and take my girls to Ireland. I want to take pictures all over the world and travel. I want that too...but if all I am remembered for is good person and a GREAT mom...I'll be happy. I'll die happy.
I always thought losing him would be the end of my world.
It was...the world as I knew it.
Him saying he didn't love me and goodbye was the best thing that has ever happened to me aside from my girls.
It is my second chance. My second chance to get what I deserve. What my babies deserve.
So, I guess I'll close it by saying what my favorite singer in the world says:
"Sometimes goodbye is a second chance..."
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