Today has been the best day I've had in a long time. Yesterday, I wouldn't have guessed it. The way my day was started was just a miserable thought. I mean, really? Who thinks their day will be super awesome when they wake up at 7am just to go to court and see their ex and a judge?
NOT THIS GIRL.
However, court went very well. I seriously haven't stopped smiling since I left that building. It's just been an absolutely wonderful day...well, minus the part where I smacked the bajeezus out of my head on the fireplace mantle. Yeah, don't ask how that happened. I'm still trying to figure it out myself.
My best friend is having a little girl...and words cannot describe how HAPPY I am for her and her husband and little boy. Miss Natalie is going to be the most perfect addition to their already gorgeous family. I feel like I'm pregnant all over again with the excitement I have for her! :)
I feel like for once everything is where it's supposed to be. I've always believed that sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together. Things surely fell apart. Looking back, I remember just feeling like I couldn't even breathe because the pain was just too much. I remember just KNOWING my life was over and I'd never be happy again.
Well, I was wrong. I'm happy again. I'm happy again because I'm standing on my own two feet. I'm happy again because I have the most amazing family in the world who has my back. My friends are AWESOME. I've learned who my real friends are and...it's just so wonderful to know that they'll always have my back. I'm happy again because I'm going to get a degree. I'm happy again because I'm doing this.
I'm doing it.
I'm not relying on anyone else for my happiness. I'm making it happen. I'm making my life mean more than it ever has, not only for me but for my amazing little angels.
Sometimes I feel like it's too much and I can't take another day of intense stress. Then, I close my eyes, breathe a little, pray a lot...and it's "all detter!" as Ireland would say. ;)
Eight months ago I never thought that I would be this happy being without someone. I'm not looking for someone, but I surely wouldn't turn Prince Charming away if he came along...after aggressive testing to make sure he wasn't just a loser in tin foil. I've met too many of "those".
I am in control of my own happiness for once.
My biggest accomplishment today was seeing him in that courtroom. Smug look on his face, the same look that used to intimidate me. What did I do? Looked right back at him. I didn't feel anything. I'm over it. I'm over him. I'm not over the heartbreak, but him as a person, I am so over. The pain will be there for awhile I'm sure. I'm slowly but surely mending. There's no rush. I'd rather mend the right way and completely than rush it just to find out that I'm really not better. If that makes any sense.
It's nice to not worry anymore. It's nice to have my life back.
It's so nice to have my happy back.
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