I need this. I need to rant. I have a lot on my chest and M.A.N. does it need to come off. I don't like to talk to people really about my emotions because honestly, no one FULLY gets me or how I feel...and I just can't take judgments from anyone. So, I keep it to myself a lot lately.
Topic Number One: The Male Species.
Just stop. Please stop. Don't click the "add as friend button" or the "message" button, or my favorite: do NOT add me to your phone book...and if you have a 'super awesome phone' that adds Facebook friends to your phone book automatically: DO NOT TEXT ME! It's kind of creepy...and in a really weird, I'm going to call Derek Morgan and Aaron Hotchner to profile your butt kind of way. I'm not even divorced yet; even if I had been divorced for years and was even READY to date someone of your notorious for lying, cheating, and breaking hearts species, that's DEFINITELY not the most romantic way to do it. I'd prefer a...I don't know...NORMAL, non-computer related way of hitting on me. If you have to hit on someone via Facebook, you obviously are NOT dating material...especially since I have two girls to think of. And especially since I don't "date". I'm in it for a relationship; that is...if I ever get to that point. I hate to break it to you horndogs, but I'm DEFINITELY NOT ANYWHERE NEAR THAT POINT. So, puh-lease; disappear.
Topic Number Two: I have kids. My choices are made for them.
So, don't get your panties in a wad if I don't text you back; if I don't go out on the town with you; if I don't stop by your house to see you when I'm in town grocery shopping and have two tired, nap-seeking babies in the car with me. Every decision I make is for those girls. They are my life. My heart beats for them. It's not easy having two kids so young and close in age. It's not HARD, but it's not simple. It's not something you can just put on pause to go do what you want to do. I mean that in the lightest way possible. Meaning, I say that all these things are things that I want to do, but in reality: being a mom day in and day out is really what I *want* to do. It's busy and it's draining and never boring but...it's what I want to do. Its what I neeed to do. If I'm not taking care of my babies, I don't know what to do with myself. When they go to bed; I'm bored out of my mind. That's where Facebook comes in. I get on Facebook when they're sleeping because I have NO IDEA what to do with myself without them. That's how important it is to me to be a mom. Those girls are my life; and if you don't understand that then I'm sorry. They come first. They will come first until the DAY I DIE. So, get used to it.
Topic Number Three: I hope you're having fun.
I'm going to be as nice as possible. It gets to me so badly when I think of this. Live it up; you're out partying and hooking up with God knows who and what and calling when it's convienent for you [i.e. three times/37 days]. While you're doing all of that; I'm potty training a toddler who speaks in sentences now. She runs and flips and likes to swim. She can feed herself with a big-girl fork now. She can get her a cup of water from the spout on the fridge without much help at all; and she drinks it from a big girl cup. She can get herself dressed almost, and undress herself for bathtime. She even says bathtime now. She helps bathe her baby sister and feed her and hold her and dances with her...the little sister who is crawling like a little moster now. She's nearly walking. She's starting to talk and has FOUR teeth now. Speaking of teeth, she's teething a lot. I'm up with her at night...sometimes all night. That's what my late nights consist of: soothing a teething baby or taking care of a toddler who had a bad dream. My days consist of dirty diapers and picking up toys to turn around and have to change another diaper to just turn around again and pick up more toys. Then I feed them and play with them, hold them, rock them. I'm a parent. If the shoes were on the other foot; I would at the least spend every waking second that I were ABLE to hearing those little voices. I would bend over backwards. I would sleep in a cardboard box on the streets to make sure they had everything they could ever need. I would still be a parent. Just saying.
Topic Number Four: Get over yourself.
I have this friend...or I did. I never said anything bad about her or did anything to hurt her. The time I need her the most she's shut me out and won't talk to me. I don't understand it. People say she doesn't need the drama of talking to me and working things out right now; but I want to know where the drama is coming from. No one ever said anything mean. We never fought. We just stopped talking because of someone she hung out with. Plus, drama, is her life...and that friend she started to hang out with; but she can't take talking to her friend who would do anything in the world for her? Or the friend that would...right now I just want to tell her to kiss my white _ss. Want to buy a vowel? Anyway, it's just not normal. You just don't do that to someone you "care" about. And then, to comment on pictures that someone else took of you? You definitely don't have the right to do that, when you can't even be a real friend. I'm starting to think YOU never were.
Topic Number Five: You get over yourself too.
New person. But still. GROW UP. You are a drama magnet and no one really likes you. You think you're hot stuff, but...you definitely...are not.
Topic Number Six: MTV...where in the world did you go?
I started to watch the movie awards. I just don't get it anymore. It's like the music awards. What happened to good music and good shows on MTV? I miss TRL and Fanatic and all of that cool stuff. I miss the OLD Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys are better; no N*Sync is better...and did you HEAR what Eminem said about Christina? None of the good stuff is on anymore. It makes me sick to watch it. They should do away with MTV...the name at least. It's NOT Music Television. I say they change it to NRTV...Nasty Reality Television. (: Again, just saying.
I think I've gotten everything out there.
Let's hope so...because my typing fingers are starting to hurt and I'd hate to make them add more to this. (:
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