My head seriously feels like it's about to float away. My eyes feel like they're going to follow my head's lead. I hate having a cold. You think after having two kids, one of which with no drugs, I would be a tough cookie. When I'm sick, I turn in to a big baby. I just want to lay on the couch and sleep...maybe even have mama or daddy take care of me.
That's what I WANT. See, I'm twenty three years old and have two toddlers. I don't see me resting while I'm sick happening anytime soon. I never took a Lamaze class, but I know what it consists of. The breathing techniques they teach you in those classes come in handy when you're sick as a dog and chasing two babies. In other words, I sound like I'm in labor between coughs and sneezes.
If that's not bad enough, I'm allergic to stupid people, and they're everywhere this week. E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E. Sometimes, I wonder about this being the last year for humanity. I mean, having this many stupid people on ONE planet has got to be dangerous somehow.
Oh, I finally watched The People's Choice Awards I DVRed from the night I was sick...yeah, the sick before this sick. Speaking of STUPID people, what in the world was that whole show about? Talk about dumb. The skits were just insane. Adam Sandler? Favorite comedic actor? He's stupid. My two year old could give a better (and more humorous) thank you speech than him. There's NO way he's funnier than
Jim Parsons. You hear me??? No. Way.
Random switch of subject here, but one thing I have learned through the past nine months is, you can't really sit on the sidelines because you're afraid. I may not be the most confident person in the world. I know hands down I'm not flat out gorgeous, I'm not super smart, and a lot of people don't think I'm that funny. (Probably because my sarcasm is just too good, haha!) However, I've learned that you have to take chances. You have to take risks because if you don't you'll be miserable the rest of your life wondering "what if".
No "one thing" has made me feel this way. There are many things that have helped me understand it. I'm terrified of failing at everything, but if I let that get to me, I would be nothing. I'm not super outgoing, but yet I run my own photography business. There's a lot of failing involved in doing that you want. It took me a lot to get to where I am, and so many times I have fallen flat on my face and wanted to quit. But I didn't. I didn't quit. I kept putting myself out there. Now, it's better than I could have possibly imagined.
So, anytime I am afraid of something like that with my friendships, relationships (or lack thereof), schooling, parenting, anything...I remember how you have to take chances. Keep taking them because one of these days it will turn out to be amazing. Don't worry about what people will think of you. Don't judge yourself or your work or anything based on what other people like or what other people ARE like. You're your own person. There's only going to be one of you, ever....so you may as well make the most of it.
Yayyy! I'm sick and I managed to blog something "deep". I deserve a pat on the back...or better yet, that jumbo sized Cinnabon cinnamon roll that's waiting for me in the kitchen with a big glass of milk, and Once Upon a Time on DVR.
Yep.
That's a plan.
;)
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
The future is promised to no one.
Today has been a heart wrenching day. The world lost four amazing people as Heaven gained four beautiful angels. I didn't know the victims very well, but I knew the mother from her involvement with the schools. I know one of her surviving children as well. I passed that house every single day for thirteen years, maybe more if you count all the times I drove to Stilson myself. I know that house and now there's nothing left of it really. It's a charred mess. It's just a reminder of how these amazing people - that amazing family lost so much so quickly. It's a reminder of how short life is.
It makes me sick to think about it. Just to think, they had no idea what was going to happen when they went to sleep. They, like all of us, thought they would wake up to a freezing cold Wednesday morning. They didn't. That is such a scary feeling. At any time it could happen. That could have just as easily been myself, my friends, my family, as much as them.
It makes you think about your life and all of the people in it. Is it really worth fighting over things just to be right? Is it really worth keeping everything inside instead of telling people how much they mean to you? Life is way too short to be anything but happy. Don't worry about what may make someone mad. Live your life for you. Even if it may not be "normal" or "convenient", do what makes you happy because you only get one shot, one go at this. It could be taken away from you so very fast.
I don't want to think about things anymore. I just want to live. Especially those girls, were taken way, way, way too young. They had so much left to live for; and for so many of us to take it for granted is just wrong. It's not okay to take this life like nothing can ever happen to us. We should live our life like it will be over tomorrow. We need to tell our loved ones how we feel, be happy while we can.
Because, honestly, one day it will be our day, and personally I want to have no regrets.
Today, while so heart wrenching has made me understand one thing even more clearly:
Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
It makes me sick to think about it. Just to think, they had no idea what was going to happen when they went to sleep. They, like all of us, thought they would wake up to a freezing cold Wednesday morning. They didn't. That is such a scary feeling. At any time it could happen. That could have just as easily been myself, my friends, my family, as much as them.
It makes you think about your life and all of the people in it. Is it really worth fighting over things just to be right? Is it really worth keeping everything inside instead of telling people how much they mean to you? Life is way too short to be anything but happy. Don't worry about what may make someone mad. Live your life for you. Even if it may not be "normal" or "convenient", do what makes you happy because you only get one shot, one go at this. It could be taken away from you so very fast.
I don't want to think about things anymore. I just want to live. Especially those girls, were taken way, way, way too young. They had so much left to live for; and for so many of us to take it for granted is just wrong. It's not okay to take this life like nothing can ever happen to us. We should live our life like it will be over tomorrow. We need to tell our loved ones how we feel, be happy while we can.
Because, honestly, one day it will be our day, and personally I want to have no regrets.
Today, while so heart wrenching has made me understand one thing even more clearly:
Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
I'm so happy, you'd think I snorted rainbows and glitter. ;)
Could life get any better? I'm kind of afraid to see what's going to go wrong because everything is just so perfect right now. I found out this afternoon that I passed this semester with only a few points keeping me from a 4.0 GPA. 3.83...not bad. :) Not to mention, one of the classes I was SURE I was going to leave with a C, I made an A in. It was insane!
To top that off, I had an amazing engagement session with the sweetest couple. It was obviously not their first time in the rodeo, but I have not seen anyone more in love. The way he looked at her was just so amazing. They even recruited me to do their "surprise wedding" in April. That is amazing. I now want to steal their idea, Shemar Moore, and get married in a "surprise wedding".
A girl can dream right??
If I can't have Shemar, you have a long list of people to choose from. Johnny Depp, Adam Levine, Bradley Cooper, yeah...it goes on and on.
After my session, which turned out amazingly well, I got to pile in the car with my babies and Mama and Daddy, and head to look at some AMAZING Christmas lights with my sister's family and my best friend's family. :) It was a lot of fun. I would totally hate to be those people who put up all those lights; but mostly the person responsible for that electric bill. Sheesh. We even got Krystal's. Yes, I was mighty excited over those itty, bitty delicious hamburgers.
The girls loved Santa. Okay, well Kealan couldn't have cared either way. She was amazed by the lights. "Wowwww!" was all she could say, until we got to our second location. Then, she decided to say a new word: "Awesome!!!!" Hahaha. It's one thing to hear my two year old say that, but to hear my tiny little chunky munk say that is just too stinking cute! Ireland loved Santa. She nearly talked his ear off. I love that place. She could just sit there with him and talk. No one was rushing her away. :) I loved it! She loved it! :) They BOTH loved it. :)
Not only is everything perfect there, but everything is perfect period. My friends are amazing. My school is right on track for me to graduate. I have no worries about getting into my program in the fall. I've been smiling like crazy every day for the past two weeks; I nearly FORGOT how to REALLY smile over something other than my babies. It feels nice.
I love being happy again. I love not worrying about things. I love just taking things in stride. There's no weight on my shoulder for once. I have so many people to thank for that. If you would have told me eight months ago that I would be THIS happy...I would have called you crazy. My world was ending. Even though those two and a half years, I was NEVER THIS happy with the way my ENTIRE life was going. Only parts of it. Not everything. I feel human again.
Being human is such a nice feeling. ;)
To top that off, I had an amazing engagement session with the sweetest couple. It was obviously not their first time in the rodeo, but I have not seen anyone more in love. The way he looked at her was just so amazing. They even recruited me to do their "surprise wedding" in April. That is amazing. I now want to steal their idea, Shemar Moore, and get married in a "surprise wedding".
A girl can dream right??
If I can't have Shemar, you have a long list of people to choose from. Johnny Depp, Adam Levine, Bradley Cooper, yeah...it goes on and on.
After my session, which turned out amazingly well, I got to pile in the car with my babies and Mama and Daddy, and head to look at some AMAZING Christmas lights with my sister's family and my best friend's family. :) It was a lot of fun. I would totally hate to be those people who put up all those lights; but mostly the person responsible for that electric bill. Sheesh. We even got Krystal's. Yes, I was mighty excited over those itty, bitty delicious hamburgers.
The girls loved Santa. Okay, well Kealan couldn't have cared either way. She was amazed by the lights. "Wowwww!" was all she could say, until we got to our second location. Then, she decided to say a new word: "Awesome!!!!" Hahaha. It's one thing to hear my two year old say that, but to hear my tiny little chunky munk say that is just too stinking cute! Ireland loved Santa. She nearly talked his ear off. I love that place. She could just sit there with him and talk. No one was rushing her away. :) I loved it! She loved it! :) They BOTH loved it. :)
Not only is everything perfect there, but everything is perfect period. My friends are amazing. My school is right on track for me to graduate. I have no worries about getting into my program in the fall. I've been smiling like crazy every day for the past two weeks; I nearly FORGOT how to REALLY smile over something other than my babies. It feels nice.
I love being happy again. I love not worrying about things. I love just taking things in stride. There's no weight on my shoulder for once. I have so many people to thank for that. If you would have told me eight months ago that I would be THIS happy...I would have called you crazy. My world was ending. Even though those two and a half years, I was NEVER THIS happy with the way my ENTIRE life was going. Only parts of it. Not everything. I feel human again.
Being human is such a nice feeling. ;)
Monday, December 19, 2011
I'm a fan of paint guns lately.. I believe that stupid should be marked...
I just love it when people play me for stupid. I especially love it when people who play me for stupid just sit there and assume I’m never going to find out. Guess what? You’re wrong. That’s a benefit of being a nice person. People tell me everything. I hear and see everything from other people. Why? Because I’m nice to them; and not to get “information”. I’m nice to them because I care. I’m nice to them because I’d much rather be a nice person than a miserable piece of crap.
The best part of people assuming I’m stupid, you ask? The part where I know everything, but they don’t know that I do. Therefore, it’s like I have my own little file cabinet full of people’s bull that I can pull out at any time, if needed. So, just a word of advice: don’t play me for stupid. I don’t want to have to embarrass you. Facebook is amazing. It makes people grow balls they never had.
I have problems saying “no” to people. I’m way too nice. Someone please hand me a backbone to use whenever mine fails? Please? I seem to wear myself out a lot because I just want people to be happy. I don’t want to be the cause of their foul moods. Some days I couldn’t care less if I tick you off – but most of the time I just want to be a positive part of someone’s day. I need to become better trained on this whole “no” thing. “Yes” makes me money, but I am miserable after. Sometimes I feel like people are taking advantage of me, and I want to believe everyone is good so I make myself think I’m not being used. However, looking back, I’m being used like crazy. Sometimes I think certain people’s heads should be filled with toilet paper, because what comes out of their mouth is complete crap!
Here’s everyone’s favorite topic of mine: CREEPERS! Yes, those strange guys who decide to message you or text you without permission. What do they say? “Hey, you’re hot.” Gee, thanks, that makes me want to date you ASAP.
Not.
Come on, guys! Get some class! Sometimes, girls don’t want you to like them for their looks alone. Yes, we want you to think we’re pretty. The REALLY good girls, want you to like them more for their personality and who they are – what they stand for. “Hot” doesn’t cut it with me. I’d rather you call me funny, or smart, or sweet than “hot”. So, that crappy pick up line doesn’t work for me. Neither does seeing you “fake” understanding my position as a single mother. I can totally tell when you are in it for a booty call or talking to a chick instead of: HEY, this girl deserves more than that.
So, forgive me if I’m not interested.
One more thing: GET CREATIVE.
Don’t sit there and talk about lifting weights (yeah, we know all about my stance on this…) or how your car makes loud boom boom noises with a stereo system that cost more than my right arm. How about you come up with something original? Make me laugh. Make me smile. Make me feel like you’re not faking anything. Make it EFFORTLESS to talk to you.
Just a thought.
One more rant of mine, why call your boyfriends by their full or first and middle name? I know like twenty chicks who do this. Do you REALLY call him Jim Bob or Joe Frank Smith? Seriously. Call Jim, Jim. Call Joe, Joe. Don’t give out his entire name, date of birth, and social security number when you speak of him…every time.
I’d like to hear “sugar booger” more than I’d like to hear “going out to eat with Jim Bob!”
Unless he goes by Jim Bob.
Then go for it.
And bless his heart while you’re at it.
This world is full of stupid people. I try to be nice, but sometimes – when the people make you tilt your head like a curious dog out of “WTF”-ness….you just can’t help but become a fan of paintball.
Stupid people should be marked.
Just a thought.
The best part of people assuming I’m stupid, you ask? The part where I know everything, but they don’t know that I do. Therefore, it’s like I have my own little file cabinet full of people’s bull that I can pull out at any time, if needed. So, just a word of advice: don’t play me for stupid. I don’t want to have to embarrass you. Facebook is amazing. It makes people grow balls they never had.
I have problems saying “no” to people. I’m way too nice. Someone please hand me a backbone to use whenever mine fails? Please? I seem to wear myself out a lot because I just want people to be happy. I don’t want to be the cause of their foul moods. Some days I couldn’t care less if I tick you off – but most of the time I just want to be a positive part of someone’s day. I need to become better trained on this whole “no” thing. “Yes” makes me money, but I am miserable after. Sometimes I feel like people are taking advantage of me, and I want to believe everyone is good so I make myself think I’m not being used. However, looking back, I’m being used like crazy. Sometimes I think certain people’s heads should be filled with toilet paper, because what comes out of their mouth is complete crap!
Here’s everyone’s favorite topic of mine: CREEPERS! Yes, those strange guys who decide to message you or text you without permission. What do they say? “Hey, you’re hot.” Gee, thanks, that makes me want to date you ASAP.
Not.
Come on, guys! Get some class! Sometimes, girls don’t want you to like them for their looks alone. Yes, we want you to think we’re pretty. The REALLY good girls, want you to like them more for their personality and who they are – what they stand for. “Hot” doesn’t cut it with me. I’d rather you call me funny, or smart, or sweet than “hot”. So, that crappy pick up line doesn’t work for me. Neither does seeing you “fake” understanding my position as a single mother. I can totally tell when you are in it for a booty call or talking to a chick instead of: HEY, this girl deserves more than that.
So, forgive me if I’m not interested.
One more thing: GET CREATIVE.
Don’t sit there and talk about lifting weights (yeah, we know all about my stance on this…) or how your car makes loud boom boom noises with a stereo system that cost more than my right arm. How about you come up with something original? Make me laugh. Make me smile. Make me feel like you’re not faking anything. Make it EFFORTLESS to talk to you.
Just a thought.
One more rant of mine, why call your boyfriends by their full or first and middle name? I know like twenty chicks who do this. Do you REALLY call him Jim Bob or Joe Frank Smith? Seriously. Call Jim, Jim. Call Joe, Joe. Don’t give out his entire name, date of birth, and social security number when you speak of him…every time.
I’d like to hear “sugar booger” more than I’d like to hear “going out to eat with Jim Bob!”
Unless he goes by Jim Bob.
Then go for it.
And bless his heart while you’re at it.
This world is full of stupid people. I try to be nice, but sometimes – when the people make you tilt your head like a curious dog out of “WTF”-ness….you just can’t help but become a fan of paintball.
Stupid people should be marked.
Just a thought.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
I'm bringing happy back...
Today has been the best day I've had in a long time. Yesterday, I wouldn't have guessed it. The way my day was started was just a miserable thought. I mean, really? Who thinks their day will be super awesome when they wake up at 7am just to go to court and see their ex and a judge?
NOT THIS GIRL.
However, court went very well. I seriously haven't stopped smiling since I left that building. It's just been an absolutely wonderful day...well, minus the part where I smacked the bajeezus out of my head on the fireplace mantle. Yeah, don't ask how that happened. I'm still trying to figure it out myself.
My best friend is having a little girl...and words cannot describe how HAPPY I am for her and her husband and little boy. Miss Natalie is going to be the most perfect addition to their already gorgeous family. I feel like I'm pregnant all over again with the excitement I have for her! :)
I feel like for once everything is where it's supposed to be. I've always believed that sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together. Things surely fell apart. Looking back, I remember just feeling like I couldn't even breathe because the pain was just too much. I remember just KNOWING my life was over and I'd never be happy again.
Well, I was wrong. I'm happy again. I'm happy again because I'm standing on my own two feet. I'm happy again because I have the most amazing family in the world who has my back. My friends are AWESOME. I've learned who my real friends are and...it's just so wonderful to know that they'll always have my back. I'm happy again because I'm going to get a degree. I'm happy again because I'm doing this.
I'm doing it.
I'm not relying on anyone else for my happiness. I'm making it happen. I'm making my life mean more than it ever has, not only for me but for my amazing little angels.
Sometimes I feel like it's too much and I can't take another day of intense stress. Then, I close my eyes, breathe a little, pray a lot...and it's "all detter!" as Ireland would say. ;)
Eight months ago I never thought that I would be this happy being without someone. I'm not looking for someone, but I surely wouldn't turn Prince Charming away if he came along...after aggressive testing to make sure he wasn't just a loser in tin foil. I've met too many of "those".
I am in control of my own happiness for once.
My biggest accomplishment today was seeing him in that courtroom. Smug look on his face, the same look that used to intimidate me. What did I do? Looked right back at him. I didn't feel anything. I'm over it. I'm over him. I'm not over the heartbreak, but him as a person, I am so over. The pain will be there for awhile I'm sure. I'm slowly but surely mending. There's no rush. I'd rather mend the right way and completely than rush it just to find out that I'm really not better. If that makes any sense.
It's nice to not worry anymore. It's nice to have my life back.
It's so nice to have my happy back.
NOT THIS GIRL.
However, court went very well. I seriously haven't stopped smiling since I left that building. It's just been an absolutely wonderful day...well, minus the part where I smacked the bajeezus out of my head on the fireplace mantle. Yeah, don't ask how that happened. I'm still trying to figure it out myself.
My best friend is having a little girl...and words cannot describe how HAPPY I am for her and her husband and little boy. Miss Natalie is going to be the most perfect addition to their already gorgeous family. I feel like I'm pregnant all over again with the excitement I have for her! :)
I feel like for once everything is where it's supposed to be. I've always believed that sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together. Things surely fell apart. Looking back, I remember just feeling like I couldn't even breathe because the pain was just too much. I remember just KNOWING my life was over and I'd never be happy again.
Well, I was wrong. I'm happy again. I'm happy again because I'm standing on my own two feet. I'm happy again because I have the most amazing family in the world who has my back. My friends are AWESOME. I've learned who my real friends are and...it's just so wonderful to know that they'll always have my back. I'm happy again because I'm going to get a degree. I'm happy again because I'm doing this.
I'm doing it.
I'm not relying on anyone else for my happiness. I'm making it happen. I'm making my life mean more than it ever has, not only for me but for my amazing little angels.
Sometimes I feel like it's too much and I can't take another day of intense stress. Then, I close my eyes, breathe a little, pray a lot...and it's "all detter!" as Ireland would say. ;)
Eight months ago I never thought that I would be this happy being without someone. I'm not looking for someone, but I surely wouldn't turn Prince Charming away if he came along...after aggressive testing to make sure he wasn't just a loser in tin foil. I've met too many of "those".
I am in control of my own happiness for once.
My biggest accomplishment today was seeing him in that courtroom. Smug look on his face, the same look that used to intimidate me. What did I do? Looked right back at him. I didn't feel anything. I'm over it. I'm over him. I'm not over the heartbreak, but him as a person, I am so over. The pain will be there for awhile I'm sure. I'm slowly but surely mending. There's no rush. I'd rather mend the right way and completely than rush it just to find out that I'm really not better. If that makes any sense.
It's nice to not worry anymore. It's nice to have my life back.
It's so nice to have my happy back.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Life. Is. Good
Hall-e-luh-yer!
*in my best Mable Simmons voice*
Finals. Are. Over.
As in, done, kapeesh, nada, no MORE!
Which also means that I am done with four of the most ridiculously boring classes ever. I am one core class away from surgical classes and clinicals. One. Semester. Left.
Yes, I can't believe it. I'm so happy. I know I still have about eight months before I'm actually getting my hands dirty in an OR somewhere, but honestly...I've never felt more close to accomplishing something amazing like this. It's even intensified by the fact that my girls will be there with me to enjoy it all and to be there when I graduate.
Oh, and for the record, (directed towards Creeper #2), whenever I tell you that I'm going to school to be a Surgical Technologist, please don't write back with "Ew". Okay, I get it. You can't see past Gold's Gym, and McDonald's fries makes you sick. That's where we differ. I hate the gym, I love fries, and I have a more manly intestinal fortitude (aka : GUTS) than you. Oh, and NO I will not be cutting into people. I'll just be helping the guy who ...cuts into people.
Anyway, I'm excited. Very excited.
I'm dreading tomorrow. If you know me really well, you know what tomorrow is. Hopefully it's the last time I have to walk inside of that ugly building; but hopefully it all works out like I want it to. I'm going to be a nervous wreck. Ugh.
Photography.
Oh, photography.
How I love thee.
But how I am starting to hate thee with a fire inside so large it may actually scorch my camera.
I love doing what I do. I love capturing memories for people. However, a lot of clients recently seem to be sucking the fun out of it for me. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I suck butt (yeah, I said it...) or maybe I'm just too nice.
I really think I'm too nice.
I bend over backwards and put everyone else before myself. That's not really a bad thing. However, in some aspects of life it is a very bad thing. For example, when you're a single mom of two kids, trying to run a business while going to school. Yep. That is a bad thing. I need to learn the meaning of NO and how to use it.
I need to learn how to stand my ground.
Cause I would rather people be happy than have people hate me.
Definitely a flaw.
At least I have some amazing friends to keep me sane and tell me things like "It's definitely not you. You're doing everything right". There are two girls in particular, Laci and Nicky, who I wouldn't be able to live without. They're like my new stand-in-husbands. (They're better than the original, too!) <-I'm just sayin. They're awesome.
They're always there for me, and they know I'll NEVER judge them. If they need me I'm there in a heartbeat and they're there for me. I love them and their babies like family. I know whatever I tell them isn't going to be all over town before they leave my house. I can trust them with a guy I'm interested in, haha...inside joke. *ahem* It's been awhile since I've had friends like that I could count on.
Okay, so maybe Laci and I have known each other since like...third freaking grade, but we lost each other for awhile there. I must say I'm very happy to have her back! I've missed her retardedness and how it meshes with my own retardedness. (<-No offense to the people that get butthurt over certain wording. you KNOW what I mean.)
And Nicky. Ohhh, my Nicky! :) She's always been a sweetheart, but it wasn't until my entire life fell apart that she became my rock. She's the person I go to when I feel like everything is just going crazy. She knows the right things to say to make me feel so much better about myself and everything else in my life.
So, this whole sappy mess is to say: THANK YOU so much for everything; mostly for being my sanity during this...rather INsane time.
And to all my other friends, you're all appreciated more than you'll ever know. :)
Ah.
Life. Is. Good. :)
*in my best Mable Simmons voice*
Finals. Are. Over.
As in, done, kapeesh, nada, no MORE!
Which also means that I am done with four of the most ridiculously boring classes ever. I am one core class away from surgical classes and clinicals. One. Semester. Left.
Yes, I can't believe it. I'm so happy. I know I still have about eight months before I'm actually getting my hands dirty in an OR somewhere, but honestly...I've never felt more close to accomplishing something amazing like this. It's even intensified by the fact that my girls will be there with me to enjoy it all and to be there when I graduate.
Oh, and for the record, (directed towards Creeper #2), whenever I tell you that I'm going to school to be a Surgical Technologist, please don't write back with "Ew". Okay, I get it. You can't see past Gold's Gym, and McDonald's fries makes you sick. That's where we differ. I hate the gym, I love fries, and I have a more manly intestinal fortitude (aka : GUTS) than you. Oh, and NO I will not be cutting into people. I'll just be helping the guy who ...cuts into people.
Anyway, I'm excited. Very excited.
I'm dreading tomorrow. If you know me really well, you know what tomorrow is. Hopefully it's the last time I have to walk inside of that ugly building; but hopefully it all works out like I want it to. I'm going to be a nervous wreck. Ugh.
Photography.
Oh, photography.
How I love thee.
But how I am starting to hate thee with a fire inside so large it may actually scorch my camera.
I love doing what I do. I love capturing memories for people. However, a lot of clients recently seem to be sucking the fun out of it for me. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I suck butt (yeah, I said it...) or maybe I'm just too nice.
I really think I'm too nice.
I bend over backwards and put everyone else before myself. That's not really a bad thing. However, in some aspects of life it is a very bad thing. For example, when you're a single mom of two kids, trying to run a business while going to school. Yep. That is a bad thing. I need to learn the meaning of NO and how to use it.
I need to learn how to stand my ground.
Cause I would rather people be happy than have people hate me.
Definitely a flaw.
At least I have some amazing friends to keep me sane and tell me things like "It's definitely not you. You're doing everything right". There are two girls in particular, Laci and Nicky, who I wouldn't be able to live without. They're like my new stand-in-husbands. (They're better than the original, too!) <-I'm just sayin. They're awesome.
They're always there for me, and they know I'll NEVER judge them. If they need me I'm there in a heartbeat and they're there for me. I love them and their babies like family. I know whatever I tell them isn't going to be all over town before they leave my house. I can trust them with a guy I'm interested in, haha...inside joke. *ahem* It's been awhile since I've had friends like that I could count on.
Okay, so maybe Laci and I have known each other since like...third freaking grade, but we lost each other for awhile there. I must say I'm very happy to have her back! I've missed her retardedness and how it meshes with my own retardedness. (<-No offense to the people that get butthurt over certain wording. you KNOW what I mean.)
And Nicky. Ohhh, my Nicky! :) She's always been a sweetheart, but it wasn't until my entire life fell apart that she became my rock. She's the person I go to when I feel like everything is just going crazy. She knows the right things to say to make me feel so much better about myself and everything else in my life.
So, this whole sappy mess is to say: THANK YOU so much for everything; mostly for being my sanity during this...rather INsane time.
And to all my other friends, you're all appreciated more than you'll ever know. :)
Ah.
Life. Is. Good. :)
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Jeepers....Creepers.
Yes, I totally named my blog after the worst horror movie ever made. Sad thing is, they also made a sequel. Yes, there are two Jeepers Creepers. That's scarier than the movie.
Anyway, I'm just tired of creepers. If I delete you, please don't try to message me about why I deleted you. Thing is, if I deleted you I really don't want to talk to you. So, why would I want to message you? Also, if I delete you why in the (excuse my language) hell would you (or how CAN YOU?) comment on my photographs. That's weird. Especially when you comment on my things "what happened?". I'll tell you what happened.
You're weird.
And not in the "good I think I like this guy because he's quirky" way. More like in the "you're just weird dude" kind of way.
And please...please...don't get my number off of facebook or from your friend and text me..."HEY DANI!" That's just freaking weird as all get out. I mean, you could at least ASK me first. It's a little desperate to look a girls number up online. Talk to her. Let her know you aren't weird. And for God's sake don't tell her she needs to work out...
...ESPECIALLY if she's a size freaking zero already. Not to mention, a single mother of two kids. Trust me, that's all the "working out" I need to do. Your job description as a body builder? NOT sexy to me. Trust me, I'd rather date a computer geek who is ugly as homemade sin than date a bulky, beefy, meathead.
Where are all the good guys hiding out? The guys who don't cheat or lie? The guys who have more going for them than their biceps? Or the guys that don't get clingy as heck? You know, the guys that like football so much it irks your nerve, but at the same time are so cute about it? Or the guys who actually want just ONE girl?
Yeah, maybe I'm dreaming. Maybe it's true. They're all married...or gay.
My money is on Gay.
No hope there for me.
Oh, and please, don't try your slick lines on me. Especially if you don't really mean it. After all I've been through I can detect your BS from a mile away. If you can't hold an intelligent conversation about something other than how depressing your life is and how you hate the world and love is a black hole sucking out your emotions or how "I can bench a St. Bernard"...well, just shut up. Please.
That's as nice as I can be about it.
Shut. Up.
I hate talking to people who make it possible for me to feel my brain cells dying.
So, from here on out...if you're a creeper, please leave your creep at the door or just get your creep on somewhere else.
If you're normal?
Pull up a seat and stay awhile.
Anyway, I'm just tired of creepers. If I delete you, please don't try to message me about why I deleted you. Thing is, if I deleted you I really don't want to talk to you. So, why would I want to message you? Also, if I delete you why in the (excuse my language) hell would you (or how CAN YOU?) comment on my photographs. That's weird. Especially when you comment on my things "what happened?". I'll tell you what happened.
You're weird.
And not in the "good I think I like this guy because he's quirky" way. More like in the "you're just weird dude" kind of way.
And please...please...don't get my number off of facebook or from your friend and text me..."HEY DANI!" That's just freaking weird as all get out. I mean, you could at least ASK me first. It's a little desperate to look a girls number up online. Talk to her. Let her know you aren't weird. And for God's sake don't tell her she needs to work out...
...ESPECIALLY if she's a size freaking zero already. Not to mention, a single mother of two kids. Trust me, that's all the "working out" I need to do. Your job description as a body builder? NOT sexy to me. Trust me, I'd rather date a computer geek who is ugly as homemade sin than date a bulky, beefy, meathead.
Where are all the good guys hiding out? The guys who don't cheat or lie? The guys who have more going for them than their biceps? Or the guys that don't get clingy as heck? You know, the guys that like football so much it irks your nerve, but at the same time are so cute about it? Or the guys who actually want just ONE girl?
Yeah, maybe I'm dreaming. Maybe it's true. They're all married...or gay.
My money is on Gay.
No hope there for me.
Oh, and please, don't try your slick lines on me. Especially if you don't really mean it. After all I've been through I can detect your BS from a mile away. If you can't hold an intelligent conversation about something other than how depressing your life is and how you hate the world and love is a black hole sucking out your emotions or how "I can bench a St. Bernard"...well, just shut up. Please.
That's as nice as I can be about it.
Shut. Up.
I hate talking to people who make it possible for me to feel my brain cells dying.
So, from here on out...if you're a creeper, please leave your creep at the door or just get your creep on somewhere else.
If you're normal?
Pull up a seat and stay awhile.
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